In some ways you are good for me
these turning twisting wider horizons
in which I can feel myself opening
a cat just awoken.
it pains me to be in your world and not of it
a phantom voice without sound, only words
adrift in maybes and if-onlys
of the warmth
My heart smiles and aches.
Two sides of the coin
that is loving you
from the sidelines
of your life.
They say perspective is everything.
Perhaps I feel I am haunting your margins
but in your world
I am writ large…
there I am
falling into the trap
with steel jaws to crush me
if I dare hope.
I struggle in that vicious in-between.
I am too much and not enough.
You would think I could be enough, be just right —
And yet —
I am both and nothing.
If only I were to find the fulcrum,
that razor of a balance point,
I might finally
be your perfection